Sara Mileski is President of Kappa Omicron Nu, the national honor society
for Child and Family Studies at Syracuse University.
No One Would Tell exposes partner violence in the teenage population. Stacy is caught in Bobby's web of control and abuse and only a tragic event can detach her from him. Teen partner violence can be underrated yet its implications are just as terrifying as domestic violence at later ages. The causes of Stacy and Bobby's abusive relationship arise from their role models and the environment of the teenage world. The outcomes of Bobby's power over Stacy develop over time expanding from the trivial into major societal issues. Connections between this fictional relationship and real teenage partner violence emphasizes why this phenomenon exists and what it means for society as a whole.
Society must examine a teenager's ideas about violence. Bobby's abusive actions can be defined as intimate partner terrorism because he physically assaulted Stacy. (Hattery and Smith 65). Stacy however, chose to see his abuse as love. She often blamed herself for the beatings, explaining that she was being "stupid". Teenagers tend to believe that abuse is a "demonstration of caring behaviors" and is thus "justified". (Herrman 164) They believe that the provoked abuser has good reason to hurt their partner. Teens have less experience with romantic relationships - they see abusive behaviors as "normal", reasoning that their partner's actions are typical of for example, jealousy. (Largio 952-953) Teenage views of abuse may also be learned by witnessing other romantic relationships.
Family circumstances may shape a child's definition of abuse - first a victim then perhaps a batterer. Stacy's father abandoned her. The mother then went through numerous relationships with men who were emotionally and verbally abusive. She was Stacy's only role model for romantic relationships. This may have increased her chance of being a victim because she was learning to stick with an abusive partner. Bobby's father also abandoned him. Before he left Bobby witnessed the father drunkenly beating his mother. Bobby then became a batterer. According to the Intergenerational Transmission of Violence Theory he taught his son to batter his partner and Bobby learned the lesson. (Hattery and Smith 194)
Teenagers deal with peer pressure in their competitive environment daily. Romantic relationships add on to the stress of high school students. If they are abusive it may immediately affect the victim. Stacy's grades started dropping and friendships weakened - Bobby controlled her every move. He created rules she had to follow - otherwise she would end up bruised. Unable to see her friends or leave her home at night she began to lose herself. Stacy demonstrated "traumatic bonding" - she gradually lost her identity, made no decisions of her own and became more attached to Bobby. (Largio 952)
The small scale struggles soon become greater problems for victims of partner abuse. The psychological and mental health issues associated with teenage partner violence are just as severe as for adults in abusive relationships. Worse, for both the teenage victim and the batterer a pattern of domestic violence may continue throughout their lives. (Largio 973; Herrman 167) Bobby battered his first girlfriend and continued the abuse with Stacy. The audience does not discover the impact the abuse had on Stacy - until it witnesses its' tragic sum, her death.
The film aims to demonstrate that keeping domestic violence a secret can lead to tragedy. Domestic violence is considered a private matter and hidden from others. (Hattery and Smith 35) This is the main reason why those who knew of the abuse did not come forward - and they did not wish to become involved. Bobby was able to abuse two girls and maybe more without punishment because his community allowed it. If someone had stepped in Stacy may have lived. But our society might not have been able to help her very much. Devon Largio explains that it is hard for teen victims of partner violence to receive legal protection because some courts do not recognize domestic violence and teen partner violence as being the same. (Largio 972) It is highly unlikely that Bobby would have been prosecuted for the prior abuse. The film overlooks this but advises that telling is the right thing to do - it is our responsibility to help those being abused. Bobby might not have been prosecuted but their relationship could have ended before her death.
Society should encourage people to speak up about abuse. Stacy was obviously in need of help as are many other teens. Teenage partner violence has unique complications in resolving these relationships because high school traps victims and perpetrators together. Though there are flaws in the legal system for helping these teenagers justice can still prevail if people try. Society should be able to protect victims from their abusers - awareness of the problem is the first step in getting help to those in need.
Works Cited
Hattery, Angela; Smith, Earl. The Social Dynamics of Family Violence Boulder, CO: Westview, 2012.
Herrman, Judith W. "There's a Fine Line . . . " Pediatric Nursing 35.3 (2009) 164-170. Proquest. Web. 2 Mar 2014.
Largio, Devon M. "Refining the Meaning and Application of 'Dating Relationship' "
"Language in Domestic Violence Statutes" Vanderbilt Law Review 60.3 (2007) 939-981.
Proquest. Web. 2 Mar 2014.
No One Would Tell - a film; Dir. Noel Nosseck. Perf. Candace Cameron Bure, Fred Savage, Michelle Philips. NBC, 1996.
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